From Ashes to New – Day One

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There was bound to be a Linkin Park worshipping band some time. The only surprise is that it came this late. It’s been 12 years since the explosive success of Meteora, and only now a band tries to replicate its success?

Linkin Park had their share of similar bands, but they always took the most banal elements. Red and Hoobastank didn’t echo Linkin Park but echoed the whole Angst Rock movement that encompassed a variety of genres. A few others came close, like Thousand Foot Krutch. They were too fun and loose though. From Ashes to New literally worship it.

The only difference between Ashes and Linkin Park is in the rapping. It’s more aggressive, sounding leaning towards the wackier moments of Cage. Besides that, “Land of Make Believe” sounded like what the fans wanted and never got after Meteora. The rapping drives the verses and the beat fits the amount of bars – the band is clearly familiar with Hip-Hop. The chorus is melodic but full of hate and there’s some screaming to add punch. It’s all backed by electronic sounds.

It’s just as exciting as it was the first time Linkin Park did it. The weird criticism aimed at Linkin Park that they’re generic still doesn’t make sense. Later albums proved they were always about mixing things up, and the bands that truly sound like them have these same qualities. Just as it took time for Icon for Hire and Hollywood Undead to expand their genre, it will take to Ashes too.

Their sound is great, but it’s limited. Despite mixing genres, the songs themselves aren’t very different. Even the mood feels oddly the same, even though “Land of Make Believe” is supposed to be aggressive whereas “Downfall” is hopeful. It’s not enough to just borrow various ideas from various genres. You need to find a way to mix them up.

When Linkin Park realized this, we got Minutes to Midnight which had the pure Hip-Hop of “Bleed It Out” next to the electronic ballad of “Leave Out All the Rest”. It’s hard to find such odd moments here. There’s a quasi-bass drop in “Farther From Home” but it doesn’t really affect the song. In the end, every song is the same. Hooks are sung with complete serious, the drums and guitars thunder, the electronics tell you this is epic and someone occasionally raps.

The hooks can only carry them so far, although there are some brilliant ones – “Downfall”, “Land of Make Believe” and “Breaking Now” make you forget the obvious influence. If you have a uniform, you need brilliant hooks. It’s not that Ashes lack something specific that prevents them from writing good hooks. They sound passionate enough, and they never rely on annoying techniques of just stretching syllables. The science of a good chorus is a confusing one and the band isn’t an expert on it here.

There’s hope for them, though. They may be derivative, but they’re derivative of a great band who later became greater. Even if they lack Linkin Park’s hooks, they got their wide-eyed approach. Being an experimental, genre-bending band is hard. It takes experience to learn about the genres, how they work and in how many ways you can mix them. The band gets the basics right, so the future looks bright for them.

3 ashes out of 5

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – This Unruly Mess I’ve Made

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Both Social Justice Warriors and the people who hate them are panic-starters. Confirmation bias is their religion, and it’s hard to find the truth between all the bullshit. It’s hard to find where racism is truly a problem, and not just a normal case where a black person didn’t get what they want. It’s hard to tell the difference between the actual damage SJW’s do, or paranoia.

Macklemore’s second album makes it easy. SJW’s ruined this rapper. What used to be a confident, inventive and versatile rapper is now a doormat. “White Privilege II” is the centerpiece of the album. Way before you hear it, Macklemore’s crippling guilt over rapping while white cripples the album.

That song is easily one of the worst abominations commited to audio. You need to make songs about raping women and killing ‘damn niggers’ to make something worse. Actually, rappers have done songs about raping women and got acclaim for it.

Where to start with such a trainwreck? It ends with a woman singing about Hip-Hop like it’s some sort of ideal. Maybe she should look to Ice Cube or Eazy-E or Phife Dawg, highly acclaimed rappers who made sure to let us know how terrible women are. Women praising Hip-Hip is one of the most hilarious things ever. I can enjoy plenty of misogynistic music, but it doesn’t make it right.

In fact, “White Privilege II” proves something more terrible than white people rapping. Okay, so some dudes have a wacky entitlement complex and think their phenotypes mean they ‘own a culture’. Still, why are the only living artists Macklemore attacks are women? Why is Miley Cyrus twerking worse than those hundreds of videos and songs about ‘hoes’ and ‘gold diggers’, where women are just decorations in a video? Don’t criticize people for not wanting to listen to objecitifcation of women. It doesn’t matter how oppressed you are. Misogyny cannot be justified.

But Macklemore is concerned with not looking racist. Since we’re dealing with appearances, we can sacrifice other groups for our image. That’s why we bend over backwards to make sure people won’t criticize Islam. So Macklemore is angry over white people rapping and exploitating the precious culture that gave us songs like “A Bitch Iz a Bitch”. I’m not saying that racism doesn’t exist, or shouldn’t be talked about. Just don’t be a total moron about it (It’s no “The Blacker the Berry”, a song that gives the oppressed a voice, makes us understand what it feels like). Delivering coherent ideas in music is hard, but when you’re that pretentious is impossible. Hip-Hop is not holy. No one is entitled to Hip-Hop. Don’t tell me how Hip-Hop was for the ‘oppressed’ when misogyny and homophobia are all over the place.

Oh, and Macklemore had fantastic black singers on “Can’t Hold Us” and “Thrift Shop”. So no, Macklemore, your white skin didn’t help you. These black singers did.

Enough about that song, though. For a while, the album hints it might be good. “Light Tunnels” is actually very good. Apologizing to Kendrick Lamar was retarded, but it’s an ambitious song that could only come out of a Kanye-esque narcisstic mind. Then again, whining about fame is narcissitic unless you got psychological insight. The song stretches for 6 minutes, changing the beat constantly but still keeping a hook. It’s an epic, attention-grabbing opener. Macklemore still sounds inconfident in it, but at least it sees him looking forward and trying ridiculous but interesting ideas.

“Downtown” may be an obvious sequel to “Thrift Shop” but it’s a fun one. The aggressive shout-rap is a nice throwback. In truth, the only way it’s a sequel to that song is in concept. It’s a silly rap song driven by a hook that still pushes the music forward. The duo aren’t without talent, they’re just crippled by white guilt and over-seriousness.

The album drops in quality more and more as it goes on. It never becomes offensive until “White Privilege II” and sometimes it rises. Mostly though, it’s so subdued. Nothing about is particularly different from The Heist in musical terms. The songs switch from serious to fun, to a mix of the two. The musical backdrop is experimental and accessible at the same time (“St. Ides” has a beautiful beat). Both hooks and lyrics are important, but this Macklemore always sounds self-aware this time around.

Even when Macklemore was serious and cheesy, he sounded honest. He might’ve sounded ignorant, but he sounded like he genuinaly cared. “Neon Cathedral” worked. “Growing Up” and “Kevin” don’t. It’s as if Macklemore knows this is what’s expected of him. The fun tracks are where this is most apparent. “Brad Pitt’s Cousin” and “Dance Off” lack any sense of joy, or any hook. Macklemore sounds particularly depressed on the former, referencing Deez Nuts (meme, not the band) in some silly effort to inject silliness. Now, if Macklemore deliberately wrote a song about trying to lift his depression in a party, it’d be brilliant. His voice is light-hearted and sounds odd in serious songs, so it’ll be ideal for a song like this one. Instead, Macklemore sounds like he doesn’t really want to make music.

The line “I don’t like who I am in this environment” in the opener is telling. Both parties rarely sound like they want to make this music. Ryan Lewis has cool ideas and a diverse palette, but the beats aren’t attention-grabbing like before. He never takes the ideas to their extreme conclusions. “Need to Know” barely has a beat, as if minimalism is a virtue in and of itself. “Dance Off” is utterly pathetic. It’s a banger with no drums and no basslines. You can only tell it’s a dance song because someone screams about getting down on the floor.

If Macklemore truly thinks white females are ruining Hip-Hop, then he’s a hypocrite. If he just thinks white people are exploiting the culture (No mention of Apathy or El-P or Eminem or Mike Shinoda though), then don’t rap. Don’t rap especially if you don’t feel like it. Even when you leave out the abomination that is “White Privilege II”, it’s a tired album by two people who just don’t want to make that music.

2 popped tags out of 5

Kanye West – The Life of Pablo

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The album sounds exactly like the build-up, and that’s not an entirely good thing.

Starting off with a long digression about the days before the release is pointless. In the end, it’s boring and in a few years most of the listeners will have no idea what it was like. What you should know is that the album went through countless name changes and tracklistings. It was so extreme that even at the end, right after Kanye streamed the album in a party his mind kept changing.

At first, it’s an artist slowly discovering what their new album is and showing us every step of the way. When even on the day of release they keep changing it, dumping all the tracks and not releasing the album on time it’s clear something is wrong. Kanye is talked about like some mad genius, but these qualities are always struggling against each other.

The last two Kanye albums that got people so hyped were tightly focused. It’s bizarre to think the same Kanye on this album also made “Runaway” a few years back. That song goes for 9 minutes and doesn’t waste a single second. It’s the definition of ‘astonishing’. Here, Kanye West has no idea what to do in 2 minutes. “Father Stretch My Hands” is divided into two parts, both of which don’t make any sense. It’s weird melodic-Trap-Rap thing that’s cool on paper, but it goes nowhere.

Kanye is incapable of writing a Pop song here. He actually has a hook, but he never turns that song into an actual Pop song. He jumps from one section to the next. The music it has more in common with is that spastic Post-Hardcore thing Chiodos and Protest the Hero do.

What’s weirder is that this isn’t an artist just dumping ideas. Half of it makes sense as a whole album, and the other sounds like things Kanye just got out of his system. Tracks like “Waves”, “FML”, “Wolves” and even “Fade” point to a new direction for Kanye. They see him pushing further into the Alternative R&B movement, but still maintaining a lot of Hip-Hop influence and a free-from structure. They’re exciting in how weird and accessible they are at the same time. It’s what Pop musicians make when they feel brave enough.

Then there’s “Freestyle 4” and “Feedback”, where Kanye sounds like he’s spitting some verses that he had no idea where to put. “Highlights” is a great Auto-Tuned Pop song that gets lost. Why is “No More Parties in LA” here? It sounds like it belong in 2004. I’m sure many will be excited over it, but it sounds out of place and only reinforces the feeling Kanye had no idea what to do with this.

The structure of the album creates a weird effect. Almost every song sounds worst in it, yet the album works great as a whole. It’s easy to miss the beauty of “Waves” and “Wolves” when sit next to “30 Hours” and “Feedback”, but it’s fascinating to hear this from beginning to end. It’s not exactly a genre-bending album. Kanye’s too unfocused to this. The album is still varied and experimental, just because of Kanye’s nature. As scattered as it is, it shows that perhaps Kanye is incapable of making a bad album.

The result is a confusing album that challenges in a fun way. It’s hard to get a grip on what the album tries to be because there are literally two albums fighting for dominance. Listening to see it is seeing an artist who is now original by nature, who doesn’t have to try too hard to be weird. It lacks the focus of Yeezus, but it proves Kanye still has plenty to offer. He was just in a mental state that didn’t allow him to make a coherent album at the moment. Why didn’t he include “All Day” or “FourFiveSeconds” though?

There are also plenty of songs to take away from. In isolation, plenty of these songs work. They may less immediate, but “Ultralight Beam” and “Fade” are both new directions for Kanye West. The former is a weird Gospel number that doesn’t sound like anything. The latter jumps on the Deep House bandwagon, but destroys everything released today with how it progresses, until it reaches the brilliant lyrics (“I’ve been on my shit/Whole world on my dick”) and the breakdown. “30 Hours” is minimalistic and simple, but also beauitful in its serenity. Kanye even managed to produce the best skit of all time with “I Love Kanye”. It actually adds a lot, stuck in the middle of the album. If you need any further proof Kanye is off his mind in the best way, this is it. If the album wasn’t messy enough, Kanye pauses it to talk about himself.

The Life of Pablo is a big event, but the album is overall underwhelming. It’s scattershot and messy. It’s not just that Kanye can’t hold himself back, but that he doesn’t know what his album should be. He can’t even settle on the idea of ‘messy album with no direction’. Still, it’s fun to just hear him try to find sense, and it does have “Fade”.

Rihanna – Anti

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Rihanna wasn’t supposed to last this long. She’s talented and charismatic, but not enough. Her voice sounds unique now only because we’ve heard it in a dozen songs. She doesn’t have the iimmediatepersonas of other artists like Carly Rae or Melanie Martinez or Lana Del Rey. She always had good hooks and connections with famous DJ’s. That’s why so later in her career she could still make a crappy song like “We Found Love” a hit.

Her best songs were never creative. She just had good vocals and hooks. What makes Anti sounds so weird at first is because there was no build up to such an album. There was nothing weird or wild about Rihanna. She was always a conformist, so much so that she pretend to be a tough rapper on “Bitch Better Have My Money”. Even Bieber’s move to AltR&B makes more sense. He was huge. Rihanna doesn’t feel as huge as him, but just a talented vocalist with good hooks.

As brave as this album is, it’s misguided and pointless at the end. For a while I was sure it was incomplete, with the accidental leak at all. It takes a while until you realize “Kiss It Better” is pretty good. “Consideration” and “James Joint” are interludes which feel more like B-Sides recorded for the heck of it, just to try it. The pounding drums of the first track are interesting, but the novelty wears off quickly. There’s not much there besides Rihanna telling us she’s independent and we should respect her for who she is.

Who is she, though? When you adopt cliches that tell me you’re artistic, how artistic and original are you, anyway? Bieber didn’t just adopt the atmospherics of AltR&B. He experimented with it, putting the stripped-down “Love Yourself” right next to the moombahton of “Sorry”.

Anti is artistic and experimental in a predictable way. Instead of adding new things, it just removes club-friendly beats for ‘atmospheric and minimalist’ beats’. Instead of hooks, we get vocal acrobatics. Just because these things aren’t so radio-friendly doesn’t make them good.

These elements aren’t supposed to make your record inaccessible, anyway. Anyone who thinks experimental music is meant to be difficult on purpose never heard great experimental music. Experimental music ism’t merely different, but it find a way to make its difficulty and oddness enjoyable. Experimental music isn’t so much about ‘being difficult’, but about finding new ways to enjoy music.

Rihanna can’t find something to replace her club-bangers with. The last three tracks are all a throwback to ‘Good Ol’ Soul Music’ with vocal acrobatics. It’s just an obvious attempt to cater to ‘serious listeners’, sort of like how “Titanium” was for a while the only acceptable EDM song. What’s their point, though, besides being a throwback? Can’t I just listen to “Good Ol’ Soul Music” instead of Rihanna’s copy? Just compare “Never Ending” to “Stay”. The former is ‘stripped down’ by only having an acoustic guitar doing something in the background, and Rihanna doesn’t sound interesting. She just sounds serious.

Seriousness is another problem. A common misconception is that ‘quality music’ is always serious. It’s the sort of stupidity you expect from young people who just discovered guitars. Rihanna thinks that by never having fun we will respect her, but all it makes is for a joyless, boring album. The best tracks here are the most fun. The guitar of “Kiss It Better” and the bravado of “Desperado” are a lot of fun. Both are progress. They take the toughness of Rihanna and put it in a more melodic, soulful direction. It’s this mix of soulfulness and aggression which makes it genuinaly experimental, weird but fun.

You can imagine Rihanna in the studio, scowling like a character from Texhnolyze writing off ideas. A producer suggests bass wobbles there. Another one points out to Korn’s remix of “Bitch Better” and suggests adding a metalcore breakdown. Another one thinks that maybe she should try to rip off Black Moth Super Rainbow. “No,” Rihanna says. She’s a serious artists now, so we must not do something too crazy. Let’s just make everything vaguely atmospheric using a lot of small sounds and sings low-key. Let’s make none of the songs stick out, because serious artists make albums and not songs.

Too bad Korn’s addition of guitars to “Bitch Better” is wilder than everything here. Even if you take an album-centric approach, you still need songs that make the album worthwhile. I could enjoy an album full of “Kiss It Better”‘s and “Desperado”‘s. They may not be big singles, but they sound like complete songs with hooks. “Yeah, I Said It” just sounds like a collection of pseudo-atmospheric sounds and vocals. It’s almost a parody of alternative R&B.

Or maybe Rihanna just smoke a lot of weed and the whole album is meant to be enjoyed in a drug-induced haze. There are a lot of psychedelic albums that are very enjoyable without drugs, so I don’t see how it is a defense.

Anti is an important album, but only the surface. Rihanna officially becomes a ‘serious artist’ in the worst ways possible. It’s serious, uses the most predictable techniques to inform you it’s artistic but doesn’t contain an actual novel idea or weird. It doesn’t really challenge you or startle. It’s just boring and joyless most of the time. Rihanna could make a great album if she looked to “Desperado” but here, it’s mostly just posturing.

2 bitches who owe Rihanna money out of 5

 

Knife Party: An Overview

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Knife Party are a weird story. It seems whenever Rob Swire tries something, he immidiately moves to something else. This technique can lead to a very diverse catalogue, but that’s not really what happens in this case. It seems Swire is more afraid of repeating himself than wanting to explore new ground, He shouldn’t be. Both Pendulum and Knife Party mastered their genres. While he abandoned Pendulum soon enough before they will lose their personality, Knife Party was different.

It started well enough. Their first two EP’s were released in the span of 2011-12. This was the beginning of Brostep’s traditional sound, a little before wild experimentation became common. The dominating sounds were mid-range bass wobbles and laser-like blips. Adding a little melody was common, but they always used abrasive sounds for that.

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The first EP mastered that style. The scene had a lot of talented producers but no one matched Skrillex. No one could make their Brostep as ridiculous as his. His music was almost a self-parody. Knife Party sounded exactly like Skrillex but got it right. “Fire Hive” either screams in your ear or bass-talks. “Destroy Them With Lazers” has bass roars and lazer sounds.

It was almost a classic. It could have been, actually. Knife Party also released a DJ mix with some unreleased tracks which were just as good. There’s no reason not to release “The Box” or “Suffer”. The dumbest decision was to scrap “Zoology” which featured Skrillex. There’s a full-length version which is possible the original and not just a fanmade remake. Anyway, that song epitomizes what was so good about the scene. It had the funky rhythm of Moombahton but with the Heavy Metal aggression of Brostep.

Rage Valley was even better. Every song tackled a different genre and made everything around it feel a little pointless. “Centipede” is ridiculously heavy and it’s not actually loud. It’s just the BOOM at the beginning of the drop that makes it so intense. “Bonfire” was a hit that deserved all the hype. It switches constantly from roars, mid-range and melodic synths. Every little part is catchy on its own, and the alternating between them gives it a hyperactive energy. The sound of the drums is also perfect. Although “Sleaze” isn’t as good as “Zoology”, it first showed that Knife Party could make bangers without being loud.

Things started go downhill with Haunted House. It’s a great EP, but this is where Rob Swire focused on Not Being Brostep rather than making good music. The result is trend-hopping. It’s not so bad here because “LRAD” destroys almost every other Big Room track. It’s hard to think of a Big Room track that matches it and isn’t made by a Brostep artist. There’s “Wizard” and “Epic”, but that’s it. The VIP mix of “Internet Friends” also destroys the original. It adds more to the first drop and adds a Brostep one at the end. If you don’t count “Zoology” because it’s unreleased, then that’s their masterpiece.

Abandon Ship was where Rob Swire got completely lost. There were some traditional tracks there. There was some experimental tracks that kept the aggression. “404”, for example, is a weirder version of Big Room that’s pure genius. A lot of the tracks see Knife Party hopping on trends that aren’t very good, or they don’t give them a new spin.

“EDM Trend Machine” bangs, but there’s nothing unique or charming about it. It’s a very straightforward Deep House track. “Begin Again” and “Red Dawn” tackle worse trends. The former is an Avicii rip-off that’s saved only because of SWire’s vocals and the structure. The second is an attempt to stick a few samples from ethnic music to make us think it’s original. It sounds like a David Guetta B-Side (only with better production).

All of it bangs (except “DIMH” which has no point), but it saw Knife Party shedding their ‘seizure music’ and replacing it with, what exactly? Inoffensive dance music? I know that loudness isn’t actually praised in EDM. The best-selling tracks in Beatport are rarely weird or inventive or ridiculous. It’s mostly a typical House track with those annoying Melbourne Bounce sounds. It’s something that’s kind of rhythmic, kind of melodic but never anything that will distract you from staring at bouncing tits.

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Why did Knife Party try to appeal to him, making dance music that’s suited to fade to the background? Their latest EP is the worst offender. For some moronic reason they decided their collaboration with Tom Morello will be on his album (We already heard that promise) and replaced it with a JAUZ remix. They should’ve kept the remix and get rid of “Kraken” or “PLUR Police”. If Abandon Ship had some quirky or odd moments,this has none. The drops here are exactly the same, only using slightly different notes. The wobbles and bass plucks of “Parliament Funk” are great, but that’s one song out of 3. They couldn’t even make a different second drop.

I don’t get it. I understand getting disillusioned with a scene. Many artists moved away from these sounds, but they expanded their horizons. Skrillex, Kill the Noise, Dillon Francis and even Barely Alive aren’t just about 140 BPM drops with bass growls. Dillon and KTN actually released average LP’s, but they pushed themselves and tried new ideas. KTN mixed his bass growls with Deep House or did a weird Disco track. Dillon tried his hand at producing Pop music and it worked.

Knife Party have very high levels of production. As generic as “PLUR Police” is, it still sounds better than anything like it. I hope the new EP was just a transition record, something they had to get out of their system. Their previous material is some of the best Bass Music has to offer. For all of Rob’s cynicism, that’s his scene. There’s no reason to move away from it. Aggression may dominate, but experimentation is encouraged. The top labels have plenty of weird artists in them. Never Say Die did sign LAXX after all. Hopefully, Knife Party will come back to themselves. If not, we still got 3 classic EP’s and a decent LP.

Next up: Top 10 Knife Party songs.

Sia – This Is Acting

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The role of songwriting is a long-winded debate in music communities. Do artists have to write their own songs to be talented? Do they have to mean what they say to be good? If a rapper writes a convincing song about robbin’ and killin’ and then it’s revealed he’s a cop, does it ruin the song?

This Is Acting somehow must be important to this debate, but I’m not sure how. It’s a collection of rejected songs Sia wrote for others. It’s supposed to reveal, perhaps, something about the singer and the songwriter. Imagine “Alive” if it was sung by Adele or “Space Between” if it was sung by Lana Del Rey.

I can’t imagine anything profound. All I can imagine is that these songs would be far more bearable if Sia didn’t sing them, especially “Space Between”. Sia’s main shtick is that she’s a ‘serious’ Pop star in an age full of Carly Rae Jepsen’s. She stretches her voice. She has huge arrangements and her tone is always grave. There are no “Call Me Maybe”‘s here.

Yes, there’s “Cheap Thrills” and “Sweet Design” but they still sound serious. Sia is that terrible of a singer. She may have technical chops, but like Adele she sucks out the life out of every song. She’s using every song as a vehicle to impress. It’s like a guitarist who can’t stick to a killer riff and has to shred over everything.

Some of it is not entirely Sia’s fault. She has an ugly, unbearable voice. Insulting a female voice as ‘muscular’ in the age where feminism is a hot topic must sound wrong, but there’s no better way to put it. It’s not ‘muscular’ in a way that makes it aggressive or tough or resilient. It’s ‘muscular’ in the fact it removes every sign of femininity. All that’s left are signs Sia had great vocal training and could hold notes.

You can still make a decent record with good hooks if you use your voice right. Sia is always sure she’s on American Idol and that she needs to sing it like the world depends on it. So you get “Move Your Body”, a song hilarious song that would’ve been a B-Side if Rihanna sang it. In the hands of Sia, it’s more serious than any ballad Adele sings.

Adele is an important point of comparison since both have the same annoying technique of being overly serious. At least Adele sings songs that are serious. She may overdo the vocal acrobatics but she has the right tone. Sia thinks songs like “Cheap Thrills” should be sung like they’re about stopping hunger and poverty. “Sweet Design” is the only song that’s somehow fun.

Sia has been terrible since “Titanium” but at least she sounded like she meant what she sung. She sounded like she really believed that the song is the most important thing to happen on earth since the Great Oxygenation Event. Here, it’s so obvious she’s acting.

In truth, authenticity doesn’t matter. Actors and authors write/act things they haven’t experienced all the time. The most important thing to do is to convince the listener you mean what you say. That’s why a lot of musicians can sound thoughtful while being horrible criminals.

Sia is a horrible actor. She’s so detached from the material. Instead of sounding like she believes in the importance, she only does it because the script says so. She follows the formula of a typical Sia song all the way, but the formula is too obvious to ignore. It’s not a grand concept that unites the songs. These are merely serious Pop songs about not being defeated.

If Sia believed in this material, maybe the overblown nature of the music could’ve had some charm. Dream Theater are often fun because they’re oblivious to how ridiculous they are. Sia doesn’t sound like it. She sounds like she knows what sells, that people will gobble it up because it’s more serious than Carly Rae Jepsen.

It can be interesting for a while to guess what song was meant for what artist. In the end, it’s just a collection of overly-serious ’empowering’ anthems. “Titanium” and “Diamonds” were crappy songs. Anthems are supposed to fun. They need a lightness to them. Sia sounds both overly serious and counting her money for all those who wanted copies of “Titanium”. Sia may reveal Pop music is all an act, but she also reveals she’s a horrible actor. I really don’t care if Rihanna doesn’t write her own songs. She’s convincing at least.

The chorus of “Reaper” is horrible. Sia sounds so moronic holding the note as if the world depends on it while the song doesn’t demand it. “Move Your Body” is so serious I can’t listen to it with a straight face. It’s appallingly bad. “Alive” is somehow decent.

1 chandeliers out of 5

Megadeth – Dystopia

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For a long while, I thought metalheads were stupid.I read reviews in metal sites where bands were called unoriginal for mixing genres. Then they’d give five stars to a Thrash band that keeps it ‘true to their roots’. I really hoped I was just stereotyping because I was an idiot.

“Super Collider” is a great song. It’s ridiculous Stadium Rock that’s fun, melodic and would go well with a beer. Since it was ‘radio rock’ the fans got angry and so we get the obligatory back to basics album. There isn’t a single song here as fun or with as much personality as “Super Collider”.

Mustain is an old guy. He didn’t hide it on “Super Collider”. He sounded like an old guy celebrating rock music and the joys of making money off telling teenagers about how religion is bad. It sounded both honest and refreshing even if you never heard a
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Here, he’s just pulling cliches out of his ass. I already heard this record back when it was called Countdown to Extinction. It was just as overly serious then but the band sounded young. There was charm in how seriously they played their music.

You don’t hear this spark in this record. It sounds so calculated. Can you get more cliched than “Fatal Illusion” or “Death From Within”? These are the most hackneyed Thrash titles. There’s a tiredness all over the record, even though the band tries hard to hide it.

They still sound good. In fact, I’m sure many of these songs would work well live. The riffs are loud and the drums bang hard. Mustaine may sound old but he sure tries. Sometimes, he hits the spot like on “The Emperor” (which is the most lighthearted song here. That’s not a coincidence). It’s charming to see how they try hard to make something profound in “Poisonous Shadows”. We even get an instrumental track in “Conquer or Die”, which isn’t interesting but at least it’s not an acoustic interlude. Maybe it will work well in a movie.

It’s so serious though. Do people really enjoy listening to chugging riffs, squeaky solos while stroking their beard? Stupid lyrics can be a lot of fun, but not in this context. This is a very serious album. You may make a mistake it’s just fun thrashing, but then you get to “Post American World”. That’s the kind of brooding I expect from The Smiths or Joy Division. The thing is, sparse arrangements sound well when brooding. Shredding doesn’t brood.

I might have taken the whole ‘apocalypse’ theme seriously, but it’s been drilled to our heads already. The only apocalypse so far is an apocalypse in the arts. The theme of ‘apocalypse’ is now boring. Still, it could have been fine if it was fun. This is music for first-person shooters and action films. It’s all pounding drums and chugging riffs. The only way you can be apocalyptic with this music is by adding something, like how Ministry’s guitars sound like chainsaws.

Mustaine sounds grave though. He sounds worried about the upcoming dystopia (Which we’ve been warned about from time immemorial). There’s no fun to be had here. It’s not even the venting that Ministry had on their Bush albums. Mustaine sounds like he hopes to change the world using guitar solos. All he does is give people a reason to make fun of metal.

Or maybe he’s just tired. He wanted to sing anthems now that he’s got tons of money. The fans wanted tostroke their beards while thinking ‘this is deep. It’s not about girls’. So he gave us a record full of dull lyrics about how the thread is real.

It’s a shame because there’s talent here. There are some really good hooks and most of the record sounds energetic enough. The band doesn’t sound like they’re at the end, but more like they’re not interested in this type of music. “The Threat Is Real” would have been better if it was about telling people to fuck off.

Some have criticized Mustaine’s ‘conservative’ lyrics. The irony is bigger than Jupiter. There are hundreds of bands making songs against America. Bowie had a song called “I’m Afraid of Americans”. Mustaine says vaguely that he doesn’t trust a huge wave of immigrants and suddenly he’s xenophobic and racist. Okay, the lyrics to “Post American World” are stupid, but I’ve heard far worse xenophobia from oppressed groups.

It’s a fun record, but mostly pointless. It’s overly serious in a genre that’s not meant to be serious. “The Emperor” is great and so is a few other songs, but why go back to this? I can get the same effect by listening to Prong or Five Finger Death Punch or Superjoint Ritual or Texas Hippie Coalition, only without the bullshit lyrics and seriousness.

2 super colliders out of 5