Aphex Twin – On

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Read about Aphex Twin and it all seems like a joke. He releases music under hundreds of aliases, puts his face in a track that has him with big breasts and in a bikini for a cover and releases an album of pure Ambient noise. Sometimes listening to him and enjoying the beauty of it feels like you’re being fooled, like there’s some kind of joke which you’re not clever enough to get so Richard serves you with accessible techno. If only you were intelligent enough, you’d realize Selected Ambient Works II was a parody, or that “Windowlicker” thing is meant to prove that Dance music is stupid.

Richard himself said he finds the tag IDM pretentious, though. So maybe he’s just really intelligent while also knowing how to have fun and enjoy pretty sounds. “On” is the definitive Aphex Twin track for that reason.

While “Windowlicker” is better, “On” is right in the middle. There is no joke here. The song consists of pretty electronic sounds over weird IDM drums that are steady enough to be danceable. Nothing about is extreme, not like the simplicity of Aphex’s debut or the emptiness of his second or the wackiness of his third.

It’s just a welcoming, warm track that defines Aphex’s approach better and makes it clear why he’s the dominating figure of IDM. In the end, he really is all about discovering and enjoying simple, pretty sounds. That puts him in contrast to Autechre and Boards of Canada, whose personalities weren’t so deceptive but more impenetrable. Autechre especially came off like two calculating geniuses so absorbed in their research of sound they forgot what’s the point of it all.

Whether “On” is one of IDM’s best tracks is a different manner. I’m too ignorant of the genre to say such a thing, but it is one of Electronic music’s best statements in how it welcomes the listener. Whatever you think of Electronic music, listen to this. It’ll give you a clearer image of the point of it all.

The EP also contains other tracks, and that’s a problem. “On” is so brilliant that the only way to include it in an album is to feature other tracks that sound like just dicking about. Aphex tries, but nothing close. It’s not like any other album by him can contain this song.

“73-Yips” comes close to being worthy. It’s a pounding, almost Industrial track that has no melody and just wants to grind the listener. If “On” is the chill out part, then “73-Yips” is a moshpit starter. The problem is it has no guts. Nearly all Aphex tracks are defined by how clear their idea is, how Richard knows exactly what kind of song he makes. “73-Yips” just doesn’t go hard enough. The sounds are loud and screeching, but it has none of the darkness of actual Industrial music. It actually feels more like a joke track, annoying the listener who enjoyed “On”‘s soft beauty.

The other two tracks are attempts at a darker Ambient, but he did it better in his first two albums. “D-Scape” is just “Tha” with slightly different sounds. “Tha” was pretty cool, but there was no need for a replica.

How come these 3 other tracks got so dull is beyond me. They’re interesting enough for one or two spins, since Richard is a talented and interesting enough producer. The safety net of IDM is that its nature means the worst track might contain interesting ideas. When your catalogue is so extensive though, average tracks quickly lose their point. Listen to “73-Yips’, and any time you need a loud Aphex track just bump whatever remix of “Ventolin” that comes up in the playlist.

Still, the EP does contain “On” and 3 b-sides Aphex Twin tracks which is never a bad thing. If only “On” had a more prominent place in his catalogue. He managed to be famous without it, but that song deserve more fame. How can anyone dislike such an innocent, welcoming song that only wants you to lay down on the beach, look at the sky and think happy thoughts? When IDM is pretty, it’s really pretty.

2.5 yips out of 5

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Massive Attack – Blue Lines

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Blue Lines is unlucky. It couldn’t rely on the huge influence it had for lasting critical acclaim. Everyone talks about how outdated this is and they’re right. Pretty much any work of Trip-Hop that came after this pushes the genre way more forward. You don’t have to look too far. Just listen to some Tricky, Portishead and UNKLE and you’ll find artists with a wider vision, a more diverse palette of influence and more conceptual depth. Their concepts are also so different that they hold Blue Lines back from being outdated.

Trip-Hop has a lot in common with other 90’s genres such as Gangsta Rap, Nu-Metal and Industrial Rock. It’s full of darkness, sexuality and general pessimism. The approach may be more artistic, but the negative moods remain the same. Blue Lines is the opposite. Instead of drawing abandoned and heartless landscapes, it’s enjoying life.

In truth, you shouldn’t compare it to other works in the genre. Even the influence have different filters. Massive draw from the smoother side of Hip-Hop and from the pleasant, easy side of Soul. ‘Easy Listening’ describes best the album. The breaks are slow, but funky and still hard. The rapping is so laid-back there are no rhymes to follow. Barring the oddly aggressive “Safe From Harm”, the singers sing about the virtues of love and being thankful.

Many artists have tried to make an album like Blue Lines. A lot of rappers made this type of ‘smooth rap’, but no one does it like Massive Attack. Unlike rappers who focus primarily on impressing you with rhymes (that are boring anyway), Massive Attack put more emphasis on mood. “Blue Lines” is better than anything by A Tribe Called Quest because of how precise it is in getting the atmosphere right. The break is rolling with a perfect balance between banging and not being too loud. The hushed rapping fits with the vibes. They’re not out to impress you. They’re chilling with you to the beat.

Maybe what people mean when they say the album is ‘outdated’ is because of how unambitious it is. The unassuming title-track makes it obvious. Unlike later producers who made huge statements with their albums, Massive Attack are trying to create good vibes here. Nothing here sounds revolutionary, like a new sound that inspired a lot of people. “One Love” is just a reggea song with more a Hip-Hop beat. “Unfinished Sympathy” is what happens when a Soul singer meets some Hip-Hop producer.

Yet this unassuming, unambitious nature doesn’t ruin the album’s quality. It’s only unambitious because its aim is to create nothing good vibes. The album is perfect when you hang out with a few friends not doing anything big, or when the party is at its end and most people have gone home. The atmosphere is still social and danceable, but slower and content rather than happy. It’s shocking to think this was released so early. This album was available for everyone, and smooth rappers couldn’t imitate it?

Blue Lines is an oddity in the Trip-Hop genre. It’s out of place in the canon because of how different then approach is. It may not be as deep as Mezzanine or far-reaching as Psyence Fiction, but there are few albums like it. Sure, there’s a lot of smooth Jazz and smooth Soul and smooth Rap. Massive Attack combines all these for an album that perfects the calm and social atmosphere. Forget about genres. It’s such a pleasant album that I can’t imagine anyone not finding something to like here.

3.5 blue lines out of 5

Bring Back the Woolly Mammoth

Scientists successfully splice Woolly Mammoth DNA into Elephants

Finally, after thousands of years (Or millions, depending which book you read) humanity has made its first step towards manifest destiny. No, America is not the final frontier. Space is also not the final frontier. Neither of these frontier solve the crucial problems that people have been unjustly forced to deal with.

Our world contains no Woolly Mammoths.

The fact that people aren’t even aware that it’s a problem is proof that it’s a problem. Since both thinking and not thinking it’s a problem constitutes as proof in this case, I declare the lack of Mammoths to be set as the top priority at the UN.

We have made progress regarding our recognition of the problem. Ice Age was a pretty popular series of animated films, which starred a Woolly Mammoth. Skyrim, a terrible game known for committing the crime of not having Turn Based Combat with Pause Button, has mammoths in it. It wasn’t enough, though. Ice Age isn’t recognized as the most important film series. People still think Skyrim is at fault for not being Icewind Dale. No one is discussing mammoths.

Scientists do, though. After doing some reflecting, here are a few of the problems that we will solve by bringing back Woolly Mammoths

No More Countries

There will be no need for countries. Every place will be recognized as to whether it has mammoths or not, and it will be desirable to be only close to mammoths. Anywhere that doesn’t have mammoths will be abandoned. There will be no need to draw lines between zones. Mammoths know no bounds

No More Religious Arguing

Everyone will convert to mammoth worship. Atheism will become irrelevant. Who cares whether there’s a God or not? If he exists, he also worships mammoths.

People Will Stop Breeding

We will voluntarily extinct. Once the mammoth is back in the house, our job is done. We were put here to bring it back. It’s time for us to leave the Earth alone and let the mammoths enjoy it, instead of clogging it with more babies. Competing against them for resources is a crime punishable by being exiled back in time to an era without mammoths

Veganism Dies

We will have to eat any animal that is making the mammoth angry. You might see a contradiction here. We’re supposed to die off, yet also serve the mammoth? Yes. So long as we’re here, we need to do our best by eliminating anything that hurts a mammoth. We need to kill any animal that competes with it. We should also eat it, so the meat won’t go to trash.