Aphex Twin – On

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Read about Aphex Twin and it all seems like a joke. He releases music under hundreds of aliases, puts his face in a track that has him with big breasts and in a bikini for a cover and releases an album of pure Ambient noise. Sometimes listening to him and enjoying the beauty of it feels like you’re being fooled, like there’s some kind of joke which you’re not clever enough to get so Richard serves you with accessible techno. If only you were intelligent enough, you’d realize Selected Ambient Works II was a parody, or that “Windowlicker” thing is meant to prove that Dance music is stupid.

Richard himself said he finds the tag IDM pretentious, though. So maybe he’s just really intelligent while also knowing how to have fun and enjoy pretty sounds. “On” is the definitive Aphex Twin track for that reason.

While “Windowlicker” is better, “On” is right in the middle. There is no joke here. The song consists of pretty electronic sounds over weird IDM drums that are steady enough to be danceable. Nothing about is extreme, not like the simplicity of Aphex’s debut or the emptiness of his second or the wackiness of his third.

It’s just a welcoming, warm track that defines Aphex’s approach better and makes it clear why he’s the dominating figure of IDM. In the end, he really is all about discovering and enjoying simple, pretty sounds. That puts him in contrast to Autechre and Boards of Canada, whose personalities weren’t so deceptive but more impenetrable. Autechre especially came off like two calculating geniuses so absorbed in their research of sound they forgot what’s the point of it all.

Whether “On” is one of IDM’s best tracks is a different manner. I’m too ignorant of the genre to say such a thing, but it is one of Electronic music’s best statements in how it welcomes the listener. Whatever you think of Electronic music, listen to this. It’ll give you a clearer image of the point of it all.

The EP also contains other tracks, and that’s a problem. “On” is so brilliant that the only way to include it in an album is to feature other tracks that sound like just dicking about. Aphex tries, but nothing close. It’s not like any other album by him can contain this song.

“73-Yips” comes close to being worthy. It’s a pounding, almost Industrial track that has no melody and just wants to grind the listener. If “On” is the chill out part, then “73-Yips” is a moshpit starter. The problem is it has no guts. Nearly all Aphex tracks are defined by how clear their idea is, how Richard knows exactly what kind of song he makes. “73-Yips” just doesn’t go hard enough. The sounds are loud and screeching, but it has none of the darkness of actual Industrial music. It actually feels more like a joke track, annoying the listener who enjoyed “On”‘s soft beauty.

The other two tracks are attempts at a darker Ambient, but he did it better in his first two albums. “D-Scape” is just “Tha” with slightly different sounds. “Tha” was pretty cool, but there was no need for a replica.

How come these 3 other tracks got so dull is beyond me. They’re interesting enough for one or two spins, since Richard is a talented and interesting enough producer. The safety net of IDM is that its nature means the worst track might contain interesting ideas. When your catalogue is so extensive though, average tracks quickly lose their point. Listen to “73-Yips’, and any time you need a loud Aphex track just bump whatever remix of “Ventolin” that comes up in the playlist.

Still, the EP does contain “On” and 3 b-sides Aphex Twin tracks which is never a bad thing. If only “On” had a more prominent place in his catalogue. He managed to be famous without it, but that song deserve more fame. How can anyone dislike such an innocent, welcoming song that only wants you to lay down on the beach, look at the sky and think happy thoughts? When IDM is pretty, it’s really pretty.

2.5 yips out of 5

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Autechre – Anti

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It’s an interesting and important record, but that’s where the fun stuff ends. Autechre already got a massive discography, too. So if you’re just here exploring Electronic Music and What It Means, read about the Criminal Justice Bill and maybe listen to “Flutter”. The Prodigy and Orbital also addressed this topic, and the worst thing about it was that the Prodigy’s song somehow didn’t launch Pop Will Eat Itself to national recognition.

Then again, many people describe Autechre’s later works as inaccessible and their early work as sublime. To me, the less traditional Autechre are, the more interesting and listenable they are. Their music contains no recognizable human emotions. I remember “Clipper” working especially well because I was tired of feeling like a human. I wanted something that sounded born of machinery, but not the machinery representing human flaws, like Front Line Assembly does. Autechre’s music, at their best, paint a world of only abstract shapes and no humans.

Of course they have no business doing Dance music. I have no idea what people are talking about when they mention that the first two tracks are club-friendly. “Lost” has echoing drums that sound more full of distress than fun. Dance music can be aggressive or anxious or angry, but it’s about release and immediacy. Autechre never actually create a groove. Their music is too detached and scared of human emotions for this. “Lost” doesn’t actually sound like a club track to me, but like the repetitive thoughts of a wallflower with a bad case of social anxiety. It acknowledges people dance, but if it’ll try it will just kill the fun.

The other two are glorified demo tracks of Confield. It sounds lazy now, but this was released around the worst era of Autechre, before they got weird. These beats are more dynamic and right when you think repetitions sets in, it changes. It’s a clever trick that may be able to fool the cops, but what else is there? The sounds themselves – what Autechre does best – aren’t interesting. “Flutter”‘s beat is more skitterish and complex, but in IDM tracks need a wider difference than this. You got a gigantic sound palette and can do anything, especially when you eschew repetition. Instead, it sounds like one gigantic track that occasionally changes the rhythm.

As a political statement, perhaps it works. Perhaps a musicologist was present when “Flutter” played at a party when the cops came and explained everything. Although if anyone actually plays Autechre at a party, what you need to send is an anthropologist. He’d probably be bored though, since the music on Anti is stereotypical IDM. It’s not danceable, it has some kind of creepy, detached atmosphere and it goes on for way long because it has a lot of ‘tiny details’. Normally, I love this stuff but why would I choose any of these tracks over “Pen Expers”? That one both sounds weird, has no consistent rhythm and is actually quite a banger.

Maybe the whole Criminal Justice Bill protest thing was just an excuse to release a bunch of demos.

1.5 illegal raves out of 5

Excision – Virus

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Before we talk about the album, let’s talk about the Brostep. We all know what happened. Along came a loud genre that was popular, so people decided it was stupid. Once everyone stopped with those crappy YouTube remixes of memes, the scene flourished. Excision was integral for the scene. His Shambala mixes were highly anticipated and were a document of where it was at. His two best mixes – of the years 2013 & 2014, showed Brostep turning into something different. It was no longer about plain heaviness, but switching BPM’s and experimenting with odd sounds. When Skrillex collaborated with Justin Bieber, it was expected. That’s how wide-eyed the scene was.

Then something happened to the water all the DJ’s were drinking. Everyone took a step back to a time where it was all about cold heaviness. Never Say Die’s Black Label imprint was a leader in it, and although it had some good releases its influence was incredibly negative. The new producers forgot what made Brostep so appealing in the first place. It’s a Dance genre relying on ridiculousness. The more ridiculous your sounds are, the better it is. The new movement only emphasized some form of darkness. In some ways, it set out to be deliberately anti-Skrillex.

So the result was a lot of dull, heavy and no-fun bangers. The scene stagnated and it’s still in a problem. What should’ve happened a year after Skrillex blew up happened now. Finally, heaviness overpowered it and it’s embarrassing to hear MUST DIE!’s new song with Habstrakt. One of the most inventive producers is now doing nothing but white noise. Sure, there have been highlights. The recent experimentation with Deep House were a success, but overall the scene became monochromatic.

Virus sure feels like it should be the scene’s savior, but keep in mind Excision’s music was rarely as diverse as his mixes. In fact, he was never that diverse, not when compared to Skrillex or Knife Party or these new dudes, Barely Alive. In the current climate, there’s room to worry that Virus would be the finally nail in the coffin – showing Excision completely running out of ideas, missing the entire point and just making a lot of noise.

Thankfully, Virus is closer to getting everything right about a dance album.

In terms of sound, this is still all about brutality and noise. In fact, it’s less experimental than previous albums with no forays into new genres. Drum and Bass is barely here (Only the drumstep thing in “Rave Thing”). House is represented by “Mirror” and other than that, Excision powers through like 2013 never happened. It actually makes him sound of touch. After LAXX and Barely Alive, surely he can come up with some new sounds?

What didn’t change is Excision’s perfect understanding of the genre. Where he differs from the new boys is that there’s no posturing here, no attempt to sound cool by turning the sounds down low. In fact, Excision plays this record like 2015 never happened, either. It’s soaked in the mid-range madness of 2011, when it was all about roaring and being ridiculous. How else can you explain “Rave Thing”? It was out of place back in the 2015 mixes, where it roared and wobbled while everyone just growled. It’s a track that constantly ups the ante, that takes the most parody-esque elements and exaggerates them. As an attempt to out-Skrillex Skrillex, it’s quite brilliant.

Virus reminds me of why I love the genre it’s the first place. It’s so ridiculous, so oblivious to classy dance music. “Neck Brace” has Messinian, and he roars more than he raps. The drop imitates machine guns, but the sounds is right between midrange and low-range. “Harambe” literally stomps like a gorilla while alternating between the sounds of its 3 producers. “Throwin’ Elbows” shows Excision can still mine this style for new sounds. At this point, he doesn’t pretend to be concerned about rhythm. The drop consists of what sounds like laser beams shooting and the sound of reloading. As for “The Paradox”, it’s a brave attempt to make a defining song. Something is missing – it doesn’t as ridiculous as it should – but it would be an attention-grabber in any mix and would require an immediate change of BPM.

A dance album can’t rely on a single idea though. Even Dance artists whose genres are defined by heaviness switch it up. What’s odd is how Excision does these switches. There’s a foray to House in “Mirror” which borrows from the whole ‘bass house’ thing, but it’s not too alien. Excision is finally comfortable with guitars. They’re not sampled any more. “Throwin’ Elbows” is loud as hell, and can “Death Wish” be classified as an EDM song at all? It’s a Rap song with guitars for a chorus. Sure, there are Trap drums but the guitars play riffs.

The oddest excursions are to the sort of melodic Brostep most producers stick for tokenism. Excision now throws himself fully at them. There are 3 such tracks, and for once they have a purpose other than offering a break. “Drowning” has a glacial, sad quality to it. Compare it to “With You” which appears near the end. The former song doesn’t actually have a melody, but sound design meant to create atmosphere. “Her” has Dion Timmer’s chimpmunk vocals singing about a heartbreak over a weird drop. It’s somewhere between melodic and wobbling, creating this odd feeling of heartbreak and acceptance. It’s an odd moment of beauty that’s rare in the genre.

If you look at the tracklist you probably wonder how can you sit through 16 minutes of Brostep. It’s quite easy, actually. Making a dance album isn’t too hard. All you need to do is make sure everything bangs and there’s enough variety. All the brutal tracks bang, and there’s enough offer a break while keeping the rhythm going – “Are You Ready?” is the only attempt towards contemporary Brostep and it’s a nice stepdown, and while “Mirror” isn’t as good as his other House tracks it’s a welcome break. The only problem is putting “Harambe” as a closer, especially when “The Paradox” is right before it. The latter is epic, huge and roaring. It’s a climax. “Harambe” stomps like a mid-mix banger, a track that comes with no build-up and immediately locks you in its groove. As a closer, it’s perhaps the worst song.

Virus isn’t exactly what I want from Excision right now. I want to see the genre expanding, mixing with others and creating one of the most vibrant musical movements. Excision is still content in the midrange, but at least he backs up his obsession. When it comes to loud, midrange Brostep then all I want are tracks like “Neck Brace”, “Harambe”, “The Paradox” and “G Shit”. Hopefully, this will spread and the new riddim movement will die.

3.5 dead gorillas out of 5

Lady Gaga – Joanne

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Many will be surprised at Lady GaGa’s new sound. Yet, you could’ve predicted this album all the way back in the Fame Monster era. Sound is superficial. What’s important is demeanor and purpose. They tell you far more about what sounds the artist will try next and why they work. That’s why it wasn’t surprising Linkin Park turned out to be experimental and not Slipknot. Slipknot may have started out with more outside influence, but Linkin Park’s music truly acted like there were no genres.

What defined Lady Gaga wasn’t her sound, but her personality. As for her personality, it was one of the most insufferable you could find in Pop. It wasn’t until Sia’s 1000 Forms of Fear that Pop music had a more obnoxious, pretentious figure. Even when “LoveGame” boasted about disco sticks, all I heard was decent Pop with squicky clean vocals without personality. However, Gaga was sure this shit was profound. She supported LGBT people, which is totally radical. She had a song called “Government Hooker”, which is more bizarre for reminding me of Combichrist than that title. The music videos were long and contained ‘weird’ outfits that all boiled to seeing Lady Gaga scantly clad.

I don’t know. I found La Roux’s semi-androgynous image far weirder, with “Bulletproof” containing more punch than anything Gaga made. She surely had no guts to make something like a CHRVCHES, who made one of the most hateful songs with “Gun”. Instead, she experimented with a bunch of mainstream genres and called it ‘influencing Pop culture’. The difference between her and all other Pop singers is that they focused more on hooks, and she more on her image.

Joanne is hilarious. It’s not bad, but it’s laughable. The only thing keeping it from a self-parody is the fact it’s overall pleasant. Lady Gaga, a singer obsessed with her own image (And not the music) makes an album full of Heartland Rock in an attempt to shed her ‘image’ and become ‘real’. She’s so naive. Anyone who spent some time in music forums is over these cliches. Hell, I know 14-year-olds who listen to Thrash Metal that never had the ‘Pop isn’t music phase’. The album is retro not in sound, but in attitude. It’s a throwback to when people thought guitars were ‘real’ and electronics were not.

God, this album is pretentious. The whole thing is an attempt to sell Gaga as a ‘serious’ artist, buying into every moronic notion of how music that ‘stands the test of time’ should be. Listen to how subdued “Dancin’ in Circles”. It barely has a melody and smack in the middle Gaga breaks into a vocal acrobatic. Why would you howl like a banshee in American Idol in a lighthearted song about masturbation? On “Perfect Illusion”, she instructs the producer to turn down the drums. Although they beat like a club song, they’re anemic. If they’ll bang too hard the song might be fit for dancing, and as we know dancing is silly and moronic. Gaga performs the song with utter seriousness, making sure we’re impressed by her vocals while forgetting the lyrics are supposed to convey pain.

Lady Gaga said she wanted be an actress but music came in the way. You can feel it here. Sadly, she’s not a good actress. Music is an act, in the end. Good singers don’t just sing, but play a character. It’s far more important to sound like you mean what you say, to sound broken and angry rather than sing well. That’s why Adele is so awful, because she sounds far more concerned with impressing the audience than with venting.

As an actor, Lady Gaga is awful. She’s awful not just because she’s a bad actor, but because she can’t seem to imagine herself actually walking in those characters’ shoes. “Hello” is a lackluster act, but Adele at least sounds like she’s aware she should be believable. Lady Gaga never tries to sound genuine. Everything is dripped in insincerity, in awareness that music is just an act. “Hey Girl” has an otherwise beautiful melody, but it begs for a singer that’s less full of itself. Imagine if Carly Rae Jepsen sang it. It may not be as impressive technically, but Carly has more warmth than Gaga can ever conjure. Lady Gaga can’t divorce herself from being an actress, too afraid of jumping headfirst into genres and sounds. The irony is, the fear of being trapped leaves her without much personality or diversity.

Many of the songs are the audio equivalent of a magician explaining his tricks and while performing. Worse, it’s a pompous magician who thinks his tricks are really clever and put him above everyone else. “Sinner’s Prayer” isn’t so much about being a heartbreaker, but about Gaga’s vocal acrobatics and a token song about rambling. Lady Gaga’s overblown sense of self-importance rears its head the most in the ballads. “Million Reasons” and “Angel Down” just beg for you to take her seriously by using sparse arrangements, but for what?

The musical backdrops reek of tokenism, instead of genuine experimentation. Although she uses a few guitars, she never slides next to like Drive-By Truckers, Steeldrivers or even early Taylor Swift. You can use these sounds for a remix of “Marry the Night” and it wouldn’t feel any different. Despite showing off her connection to ‘real’ music, the purpose remains the same. The music is about how awesome Lady Gaga is. Changing the instrumentation slightly means nothing. It’s no surprise “Government Hooker” is one of her best songs since that one actually pushes her to the back.

It’s far from awful, and that’s because it’s not too serious. Lady Gaga can’t separate herself – and doesn’t really want to – from her partying and lots of sex. So “John Wayne” ends up the album highlight, where Gaga sounds like she means what she says instead of just acting. “I’m so sick of their city games/I need a real wild man” – that line jumps, because it’s sung dripping with sexuality and no attempt to impress. It’s also the song that jumps into its genre with the most conviction. I can imagine some Colt Ford dropping a rap verse there, or that girl who was in Drive-By Truckers singing it. It’s a lone moment of sincerity that makes you wonder if, perhaps, Gaga should stick to country for the sake of it.

She’s also more restrained than she should. If it’s a deliberate decision, then Gaga isn’t all hopeless. She often used her voice to prove how ‘serious’ she is – just check the atrocious piano version of “Poker Face”. Her performance here is more restrained, with acrobatics appearing sporadically. Sometimes, they even fit. “Come to Mama” and “Hey Girl” have these indulgences, but it fits the feel-good nature of these songs. If she’s happy, she should have the energy to belt out like this. A track like “Diamond Heart” would’ve been destroyed by Sia’s bullshit, but Gaga never loses track of the melody. She strains her voice just enough to show strength but stops short before the melody’s gone.

The problems with Joanne run deeper than song quality. They’re mostly okay, with only “John Wayne” and “Diamond Heart” being keepers. The problem is, it proves Lady Gaga was nothing but a buffoon with zero self-awareness. I know it’s harsh, but we’re talking about an artist trading in EDM for pseudo-Heartland Rock to show us she’s serious. Even the album title and cover reek of smugness, as if giving a person’s name and posing ‘casually’ is somehow profound. Gaga mistook style for substance, and this is the first time she wanted to have more substance than style. I can forgive her because the album isn’t the trainwreck that is Any Recent Sia Song, but some pleasant Heartland Rock by a person who cares ore about appearing ‘serious’ isn’t my idea of a good time. Lady Gaga needs John Wayne, but I need a Carly Rae Jepsen.

2 perfect illusions out of 5

Throbbing Gristle – DOA: The Third and Final Report of Throbbing Gristle

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Is there a more obnoxious fanbase than Throbbing Gristle’s? Industrial is an exciting genre. It encompasses so many musical elements. Some bands opt for noise. Others for danceable rhythms. Many found ways to incorporate melody and beauty. It even spawned a genre of Pop music that sadly never saw mainstream success. So while we’re discussing really cool bands like Coil or Nine Inch Nails or VNV Nation or Skinny Puppy, along comes that dude. He informs us how uncool we are, how we’re not listening to ‘real Industrial’ and how we should listen to some Throbbing Gristle. Sometimes they’ll go as far as tell you SPK and Coil aren’t part of the genre.

That’s hippy-dippy bollocks, of course. Their reasoning is that Gristle are Industrial because their record label is called ‘Industrial’. I guess that means Skylar Grey’s first album should also be classified as Industrial since it was released in a label called Machine Shop. That’s quite an Industrial name for a record label. Someone should’ve told them that in art, what it is means more than what people say it is. When an author says a character is ‘smart’, it doesn’t matter unless the character acts smart. So it doesn’t matter if Throbbing Gristle were on a record label called ‘Industrial’ but it matters what it sounds like.

I also don’t buy the ‘historically important’ angle. Sure, some of it sounds like demo tapes made by Coil when they were 14 and less intelligent. This record came a little before Einsturzende, SPK and Coil released their debuts. Perhaps they all heard “Hit By a Rock” and a few of Gristle’s previous dicking about and decided to make a record of their own. If it’s true, then the genre grew a lot in a year. SPK demolished the Noise genre with the fantastic Information Overload Unit. Einsturzende’s debut album was primitive, but in the long atmospheric title-track they already showed more sense of purpose than anything here.

I doubt Gristle were that much of an inspiration. What defines the genre isn’t mere noise of experimentation. Industrial music is one of the few genres where an overall aesthetic, not specific musical elements define it. It’s a genre obsessed with humanity’s doom, with hostile machinery, evil sexuality and violence. That’s why even if SPK had no melodies in their early work, their music could be tied directly to Nine Inch Nails. They had an atmosphere to aim for. This aesthetic is also why the genre can contain the Glam Rock of Marilyn Manson and the Synthpop of VNV Nation. It’s also why Depeche Mode would sound comfortably in a compilation.

This sense of purpose is exactly what Gristle lacks here. They’re not untalented. For an album full of avant-garde dicking about, it’s impressive. They can conjure up interesting sounds and create pieces that resemble songs. “Hit By a Rock”, “AB7A” and “Dead on Arrival” are all distinctive in their own way. They also end the song right before it exhausts its ideas. That’s why the short “I.B.M.” is a lot of fun. It’s two and a half minute of computer noise, but for a change it’s silly without the need to shock. More Noise music should be this playful.

The rest, however, is a collection of Coil demos in search of a purpose. Gristle are more concerned with seeming ‘experimental’, so anything that can make it pleasant or catchy is thrown out the window. Some tracks contain vocals, but it’s mindless screaming you can’t follow. The bonus track “We Hate You” sums it up perfectly. You can’t join the anger because the noise buries the vocals. The noise isn’t prominent, too. It doesn’t roar at you but is just stuck there while P-Orridge’s voice are barely audible. The atmosphere isn’t menacing since there’s nothing but a little static.

It’s not minimalist because too many noises exist for the sake of having weird noises. The title-track has nice, actually Industrial-sounding percussion but there are funny noises every second which don’t add anything. They don’t sound bizarre but the sort of thing a person trying hard not to be Pop would come up with. The proof the band was considered with image is “Blood on the Floor”. The melody is okay and there’s something distressing about P-Orridge’s performance. It’s not ‘proper’ singing, but he rescues a melody and sound convincing enough. Even the static noise overlay is a good decision, yet it sounds so low budget. It begs to have a proper ending, not just fade out. The static noise should be louder, more layered and more punishing. I hear about ‘noise terrorism’ and ‘scary’ when it comes to this band, but they never come up with something truly unsettling. The band is satisfied with stopping with ‘make it noisy’. What a shame when “E-Coli” and “Walls of Sound” sound like an inferior but still great SPK..

Perhaps you should’ve been there when it started. It is impressive this was released only in 1978. This was right around the time the first Hip-Hop records were released. Gristle ‘created’ Industrial music before Grandmaster Flash’s first record. Still, all it did was inspire the pioneers. There’s some noise, there’s some machinery but it doesn’t have the artistry of Coil or the menace of SPK. Every other Industrial artists, in a way, borrows from them (or from Skinny Puppy). Throbbing Gristle laid the roots of Industrial, but didn’t actually establish it. Still, it’s worth a spin or two just to see what ideas people come up with but that’s it. Invest the rest of your time in Information Overload Unit.

2 gristle that are throbbing out of 5

AWOLNATION – Megalithic Symphony

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What’s originality, anyway?

Artists make breakthroughs all the time. People mix genres for the first time, all the time. It’s not so much that we invent stuff, but we discover it. Ideas are bones buried in the ground and we’re all digging. Every idea will be discovered someday. The original artist is the one that collects a few bones and constructs something unique to them. Their construction is something no one will ever be able to replicate.

It bogs down to ‘personality’ and that’s something an artist cannot copy. You can copy techniques or sounds, but you can’t copy the demeanor, the attitude in the singer or their overall approach. People who criticized Manson for ripping off Ministry missed their radically different approaches. The reason Mechanical Animals renders Ziggy Stardust irrelevant is because the latter is, at the end, mostly a melodic rock album. Its approach was easily replicated.

I doubt anyone will be able to replicate Awolnation’s approach. Some bands come close. Twenty One Pilots specifically sound like a more personal and sincere version of this. A lot of modern Pop bands now don’t see the lines between genres, but none blur them so explicitly and effortlessly like Awolnation.

A lot of genre-bending artists make a conscious effort to be weird. They’ll produce huge albums with long titles. Sometimes they’ll even inform you of the genre they’re imitating and will send the most obvious cues. That approach is far from bad, since their mere excitement of what you can do with music is engrossing. Bruno doesn’t sound like he’s experimental on purpose. It comes naturally to him.

You can hear traces of many genres in this music. Any attempt to put it in a single genre is misleading. Although the vocals are rough like a Hard Rock record, the backdrop is mostly electronic. It’s not all pleasant synths there, too. There is plenty of static, Industrial noise.

The center of attention is never the experimentation. By the time “Wake Up” arrives and Bruno starts rapping, he already experimented with screaming, aggressive singing and soulful singing. It’s hard to notice it, though. He’s so focused on the songwriting.

While the effortlessness is impressive, it also sounds like Bruno is holding himself back. If he’s capable of putting “Burn It Down”, “Sail” and “Kill Your Heroes” in the same album, what is he capable when he has ambitions? Only “Guilty Filthy Soul” is annoying with the pausing in the hooks, but until then the hooks are killer. “Sail” doesn’t dominate the album like it should. It’s the weirdest experiment, but the aggressive “Burn It Down” and the Pop masterpiece “Kill Your Heroes” rival it for attention.

The closing track is the heart of the album, and should’ve been one of the most talked about tracks of 2011. It’s a ten-minute Dance song with ten different hooks and a Rap verse. It’s a behemoth that’s hard to dislike unless you consider noise a necessary element in music. Music nerds will fall for its experimental nature, but anyone else has great hooks and a bassline to groove to.

It’s a clear attempt to make something important and attention-grabbing, but the rest of the album is casual. The approaches are both similar and different. It’s as if the whole album is a collection of B-Side for “Knights of Shame”. Until halfway through it, Bruno doesn’t even sound capable of such a song. He’s a great Pop songwriter but he’s too scared to go full-on weird.

The last track may be confusing, but it’s the perfect closer. Megalithic Symphony is a genreless, ear-friendly album. Bruno should be capable of bigger things. A person who can mix genres without even trying deserves to drop a classic. Still, it’s hard for me to imagine people finding this completely worthless.

4 knights of shame out of 5

Panic! At the Disco – Too Weird to Live, Too Rare to Die

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Did Panic even want to make this album?

Every Panic album makes some kind of statement. Even Vices & Virtues had a clear aim, which was to deliver a straightforward Hard Rock record. When Panic have a target to aim for, they’re unstoppable. “Vegas Lights” is your ordinary dance song about partying until you drop. It’s not original and Urie adds nothing of his own, but it still bangs and the chorus is great.

Everything else is confusing. What’s the purpose of this record? Is it mean to be some record inspired by Vegas? Then Vegas isn’t such a fun place. “Girl That You Love” is very serious and it’s a huge downfall from the fantastic “Vegas Lights” which comes before. “This is Gospel” is okay, but a weird opener. All the whoa-whoa in the chorus and it still feels too serious, like partying is for shallow stupid people. Urie comes off like he’s hoping to pick up girls in a dance party by looking serious.

If this is supposed to be cliched 80’s, it’s the bad stuff. It’s not the weird party music that Oingo Boing or early Underworld made. Rather, it’s Rock music with a little noise, a little dance backing and vague sexuality. It’s so toothless you wonder whether the cool kids will prefer this over the weirdos who tried to combine Industrial with Synthpop.

In fact, Urie doesn’t commit to the concept. “Casual Affair” is a Space Rock rock, and a decent one. The weird wobbles leap out, sounding like they’re inspired by Brostep without actually attempting it. The ballad “Far Too Young to Die” have no room in here. While it’s nice to see Urie trying to bend genres, he doesn’t throw himself into these ideas like he should. The boring melodies overpower the sound, instead of the sound inspiring the melodies.

Then again, perhaps it’s good that he doesn’t try too much to make party music. Aside from “Vegas Lights”, “Nicotine” and “Girls/Girls/Boys” are very uninspired. The former is a joke. Urie stretches his voice in some way to convince me or you that the party is on with serious lyrics. The horns in the chorus aren’t new, but they were better a few years later in “Crazy=Genius”. The latter is another joke, a rewrite of “Somebody Told Me” about gender confusion that’s not sexy or stupid. A rock band just wrote a song about sex that doesn’t even have macho bullshit.

What went wrong here? Panic’s strength is how traditionally ROCKSTAR! Urie is. He always sounded full of bravado, sneering at everyone while having a party. Making party rock should be the ideal for him. It should allow him to brag and boast about how cool he is.

Here, he sounds and unsure and desperate to appeal to people. So he puts a semi-dance beat behind a weak chorus with lyrics that aren’t too serious and not too light. I’m sure some people are impressed by generic sentiments like ‘show me your love’ over muted guitars and drums, but all I hear is a band who doesn’t want to make this kind of music. “Vegas Lights” and “Miss Jackson” sounds so bizarre in context. Urie actually sounds like he wanted to make those songs. They have a specific sound and as generic as “Vegas Lights” is, at least Urie sounds passionate about a simple dance song.

Panic moved on from this and made the excellent Death of a Bachelor. That one shares similarities with this one, only it’s good. Whether it’s soft or tough, Urie throws himself into his ideas fully. This album sounds like a band at its beginning that’s afraid of drawing criticism. If you’re afraid of drawing criticism, you’re not worth anyone’s attention.

2 girls out of 5 boys