Rag’n’Bone Man – Wolves

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It seems fans of Soul music have annoying purists. I know, it sounds weird. Soul music at its best is so warm and welcoming. Whether you’re bumping the aimless, hook-free stuff of Marvine Gaye or Stevie’s more melodic works, Soul is never high brow, never patronizing the listener. In complete opposition to the rock of the 70’s, Soul music is just an ordinary man with a prettier voice. Clearly, in listening to it nothing should matter much besides having good melodies, a good voice and an all-around charm.

This is too much to ask apparently, so we’re back to questions of ‘authenticity’ and ‘real Soul’. Since Rag’n’Bone Man – the most Bluesy name you can come up with since Seasick Steve – doesn’t have a Funk track going on for 10 minutes and endless falsetto without a tune, this is ‘bland Soul’. Come to think of it, Marvin Gaye was just showing off his vocal acrobatics over lightweight Funk. If that is ‘real Soul’, I’ll take Rag’n’Bone’s version any day. He has better hooks and his music is something more besides beating you over the head with how wonderful the world is because you’re a singer with a pretty voice.

Speaking of beautiful voice, writing off Rag’n’Bone as generic is odd. The last time such a gloomy, pessimistic artist hit the chart was, well, the Weeknd or Melanie Martinez. His music is actually not that close to Charlie Puth. He’s not a revivalist, churning out the old love songs with some horns and a more coherent song structure. His roots go way back, to the earliest of Folk music back when all there was to sing about was death.

This album is such a gloomy, death-obsessed thing. Rag’n’Bone sounds either at a funeral, on the verge of dying, after killing someone or before killing someone. Of course his low voice is the main attraction but it’s also how he uses it. His style of singing is the opposite of vocal acrobatics. That’s why comparing him to Soul singers is a bit odd, since he rarely takes those flights Marvin Gaye is famous for. Althoug falsetto occasionally leaks, it’s never dominant. What is dominant is how low his voice is, so low it might as well be buried.

The best expression of that is in the title track where he truly sounds dangerous. On the verses he’s frantic and almost loses the melody, but on the chorus the voice is so low you can imagine him trying really, really hard to contain himself form whatever danger is inside of him. It’s obviously about something inside of him that’s he’s scared of. The da-da-da voices in the backgrounds aren’t helpful. They are the voices in your head encouraging you to hurt or to cause mayhem. To think such a song will top the charts is uncanny. Such a song is too gloomy, too dangerous and too scared of itself to be comfortable. All the brutal screams Death Metal bands come up with, and they can’t reach the fear of the self in that song.

On the other side you get “Guilty”, which is a breakbeat-laden Blues thing where Rag’n’Bone claims he’s not guilty for feeling about hurting the lover he just woke up next to. Already in the opening lines we get death, because somewhere in this ‘million ways to hurt’ there must be an element of violence. Two lines later he writes the lover off completely. Although the rest of the song is simply about leaving a person, the first lines and those hard drums did their thing. Again, his low voice contributes a lot. It adds a layer of toughness and darkness to it all. Any other singer couldn’t evoke the image of death.

Death includes the loss of others, and “Life in Her Yet” is a more subdued number where he tries desperately to cling to someone who’s dead or lost all their memory. The repetition of the title is him trying desperately to convince himself you can defeat death, but saying that he ‘can’t let go’ isn’t a sign of strength but of weakness. He needs her. He cannot live with someone dying. In this song there is no incredibly low voice, but soft and defeated singing.

These are the main attratctions, but every song has the spectre of death hunting them. After all there’s a song called “Lay My Body Down”. Whatever “Reuben’s Train” is about, he sings it like a dirge at a funeral. From the singing alone, low and stretching into infinity you can deduce that the subject of the song must be dead. “No Mother” transforms the stomping work songs (that were all about death) with bass wobbles. Despite the EDM influence, it doens’t add any joy to the song.

He achieves this atmosphere successfuly because he understands how old Folk music works. He’s closer to Dock Boggs than anyone contemporary. The brand of ‘serious music’ he’s been grouped with, the bland wailing of Adele and Ed Sheeran are nowhere to be found. Always he’s a slave to the melody, but in the old days where all you had was a pickaxe and a banjo you couldn’t wail like you’re on the X-Factor. Sure, his voice is more polished and he has a greater variety in tone. Most Folk singers couldn’t pull off both “Guilty” and “Life in Her Yet” since they’re completely opposite characters. Now this may seem inauthentic, but by being aware of the overall theme of death he connects these two. They become two different expressions of the same theme.

3.5 wolves out of 5

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Ed Sheeran – Divide

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Reviewing an Ed Sheeran album only takes two sentences. Any song where isn’t trying to lure a girl to sex disguised as a romance is excellent. Any song where he pretends to feel deep, serious emotions is obviously bad. Of course, two sentences isn’t a review and there’s more going on here. Ed Sheeran is a star and his love songs are especially popular, so we need to figure out how exactly this crap works and why cheesyy love songs are still pumping out when he should be putting a backwards baseball cap and collaborate with Eminem.

I said this a thousand times before and it dawned me. It’s hypocritical to claim Ed Sheeran comes off like an asshole, even a dangerous one when Lostprophets is one of my favorite. These guys are a classic case of music as acting, when the front is completely different than the real person. Solution to this conflict is easy. Fist off, acting is all that’s important when judging music. Ed Sheeran can be a fantastic person for all I know, but I review his character here. Second, Watkins never broke character. Sheeran does.

“Shape of You” is the most interesting song here since it merges Sheeran’s two sides, and reveals all I said about him. He courts a lady with soft, sensual singing and sounds romantic. Yet listen to the chorus. It’s all about the girl’s body. Imagine if the song was sung by a heroin junkie homeless in the street or an overly obese dude with glasses and anime dakimakuras. The song is quite creepy in how it goes on and on about how Sheeran desires a body and not the person.

There have been countless songs about sex, but the key is that they sound authentic. When 50 Cent made “Candy Shop”, it was all about having fun sex. He never tried to sound romantic – only more into sex as having fun instead of status symbol. “Shape of You” has a fantastic melody, but it’s equivalent of a hot guy going on a date with a girl and only telling her how beautiful she is. Something about its bluntness and how Sheeran still sings romantically makes him sound like a person trying to lure girls desperate for romance to easy sex.

Everything else here is easy to digest. There are the ballads, and they’re all quite bad. Sheeran can’t seemt to find a bit of vulnerability in him. Every ballad is sung with confidence. A slightly low voice doesn’t equal vulnerability, especially when “Dive” and “Perfect” explodes into choruses. The latter actually has a decent melody that would be good in the hands of a different singer. He can’t even fake sincerity like Coldplay.

It’s too clean. When he sings that hearts don’t break around here, it’s more believable – only it must be Sheeran’s heart since women come back to him anyway (See “New Man”). It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what is it about him that makes his ballads sucks so much. Wisely, he doesn’t do any vocal acrobatics like Adele and his voice is quite beautiful. In style, he’s closer to the Weeknd, who is the model when you want to be both a sex icon and a mess. I guess it’s because Weeknd always lets darkness in, even when he brags. “Perfect” never touches on the possibility of heartbreak. It’s music for the end credits of a bad romantic comedy, as if once a romance starts it never ends and the story’s over.

Previously, he could sound more sincere (if unimaginative) when talking about things other than love and how awesome he is. “Happier” should be his moment to show heartbreak. The guitar strums in a defeated way, not trying to produce a melody and it aims for the warmth of an early Dashboard Confessional. Everything is hushed, the singing is lower and the piano is pushed back. Yet it doesn’t work. You can still see the stage behind him. Where is the bitterness of heartbreak he is so good at showing at “New Man”? The falsetto at the end is a joke, a gorilla beating on its chest, sounding more macho and confident than a Groove Metal band who are hell-bent on beating Pantera.

Then again, even with better acting these songs will most likely suck. They don’t contain a melody, but all lead to an explosion, like Coldplay that’s more readily available to stadiums. It’s not the source of the bad acting since it was present in his earlier songs. When he gets personal, the only reaction to it is ‘why the fuck should I care?’. Many artists wrote songs like “Eraser” (quite good) and “Castle on the Hill” (awful), but none of them sounded so self-centered as he is. Why should anyone of us care about Sheeran’s life, considering he made so much money singing pretty ballads?

‘Privilege’ is a word I didn’t want to use. After all, a lot of my favorite rappers are white dudes whose albums are psychotherapies with the listener. Grieves and Atmosphere come off as humble, sharing their stories with the listener with hopes of relating. “Eraser” has a toughness in it, Sheeran trying to convince us he’s tough because he survives the pain of being famous. Considering on later songs he brags about fucking – and sounds happy about it – I’d say it’s another attempt to impress us. The song is good, though. As for “Castle on the Hill”, it has the same idea as Adema’s “All These Years” without the darkness. Nostalgia is a painful thing. I know that since I spent 3 years in a military home and seeing a distance growing between me and my old self, me and my friends and all I’ve known is quite hard. “Castle on the Hill” paints it like it’s all happy and nice, taking a trip down memory lane. Don’t say ‘privilege’, don’t say ‘privilege’.

So it’s all crap so long as Ed serious. Smack in the middle of the album you get “New Man” and “Galway Girl”, two brilliant songs that will easily rank as among the best of the year. Switching up his demeanor, now he’s a playboy who fucks women and women call him up – despite having boyfriends – to fuck. It’s believable for once, actually has spirits and Sheeran is into it. The latter is about picking up a girl at the club but there’s none of the creepiness of the lead single. Instead, it’s just about how she fell in love and they had sex. The former is a bitter break-up song about how the ex-lover’s new man isn’t that good. The confidence, the venom in that song is fantastic. It’s not a rant or a plea for the lover to return. Condescension is the dominant emotion, with Sheeran sneering all the way to next  one night stand. It’s not a song to sing to convince yourself you’re over the break up, but to celebrate how you moved on. No coincidence that both of these are Hip-Hop driven.

Nothing here is too different than previous albums by him. His sound is expanding a bit and there is more than acoustic balladry now, but overall the man remains the same. He cannot break free of being a performer, he cannot get into the act. The difference between him and the horrible Watkins is that Watkins remained in character. Having “New Man” and “Happier” in the same album is jarring, since they’re opposites but there’s nothing to connect them. Eventually, one side takes over and the most convincing one is the braggadio and macho bullshit. It’s funny how that song take shots an ultramacho new boyfriend, because that’s exactly how Sheeran sounds like. I have no problem with that, since “New Man” is actually brillaint. I only wish he would let go already. “Galway Girl” has more spirit than any song here.

2 new men out of 5

AlunaGeorge – I Remember

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This album should be huge. It’s not obscure by any means, with Wikipedia listing at least 9 sites that reviewed it. Still, none of these songs were familiar to me. Even if you don’t listen to the radio daily, you will end up hearing “This is What You Came For” or whatever crap Sia is vomiting. So why is my only previous experience with these guys is a feature on a Jack U single, that I only heard about because I’m a Skrillex fanboy?

This isn’t a fanboy ranting about his favorite band. I love Little Boots, but her style is too subdued for mainstream success. AlunaGeorge, however, sum up the sounds of the all big hits on the radio. In and of itself, it’s neutral since hits on the radio tend to go from horrifingly bad (“The Greatest”), to awesome (“Sugar”), to okay (“How Deep Is Your Love”) and future classics (The Weeknd in general). What’s amazing is how AlunaGeorge get it right. I’m not snobbish. I can imagine all the sounds on the radio forming to create a decent song. It’s just that every time I imagine the existence of such a song, it ends up sounding like “Mean What I Mean”.

I mention that song specifically, and not just because its hook is killer. Female empowerment is topical now, and it’s another song about bragging about rejecting unattractive guys. Such songs can be obnoxious, especially if the topic takes over the message. Just look at Meghan Trainor’s “No”. AlunaGeorge just turn it to stomping, cocky Pop song full of real confidence. Aluna sounds more confident than trying to impress. Two rappers are featured in it, they’re absolutely boring but Aluna is so good it’s easy to forget them.

Aluna is a an excellent vocalist. George supplies plenty of banging beats, but Aluna sings exactly how Pop singers should. She never stretches her voice, always letting the melody drive the song. It’s not subduing your personality, but understanding that vocal acrobatics only impressive non-musical people. She has plenty of personality – else she wouldn’t be able to pass off “Mean What I Mean” so well – she just never lets it get in the way of the song. Her singing is closer in style to Little Boots. If her personality doesn’t come out of one song, it does come out from a full album.

Personality-wise, she’s like CHVRCHES’ Lauren more fun-loving sister. Although her voice has a childish tint to it, the songs often have an aggressive, determined edge to them. “Mean What I Mean”, “Jealous” and especially “Not About Love” have an aggressive edge to them. The lattermost especially has CHVRCHES-worthy lyrics of dismissing a former lover. It’s all sang with a bit of placidity, like Aluna actually is above it all. That makes her sound far stronger than all her peers. Even “I’m In Control” sounds confrontational.

Although there are a lot of collaborations here, there’s still a uniform sound and concept. “Mediator” may use live drums and “I’m In Control” jumps on the tropical moombahton thing, but it never sounds schizophrenic. I’m not sure it was supposed to. The whole thing plays like a party record, moving from mood to mood without trying to alienate the audience. Even the sequencing supports it, with the bass-heavy “My Blood” and “Full Swing” stuck at the beginning while the middle has the more House-influenced “I’m In Control” and “Jealous”. The sounds occasionally change, but the purpose remains the same. It speaks volume of Aluna’s personality that it all sounds like products of their own. Instead of jumping on trends, the duo just destroys everyone else who does the same thing.

There were times when Pop music was the butt of critics, when this sort of party music was scoffed compared to ‘serious art’, like Dream Theater. I don’t know if albums like these changed people minds or we simply all grew up. Nevertheless, it’s a great example of how contemporary music is in no competition against ‘the old classic stuff’. We’re talking about 12 songs with great hooks, great beats and a fantastic singer. After this, the idea that some people don’t like Pop music looks silly.

3.5 mean out of 5 mean

Macklemore & Ryan Lewis – This Unruly Mess I’ve Made

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Both Social Justice Warriors and the people who hate them are panic-starters. Confirmation bias is their religion, and it’s hard to find the truth between all the bullshit. It’s hard to find where racism is truly a problem, and not just a normal case where a black person didn’t get what they want. It’s hard to tell the difference between the actual damage SJW’s do, or paranoia.

Macklemore’s second album makes it easy. SJW’s ruined this rapper. What used to be a confident, inventive and versatile rapper is now a doormat. “White Privilege II” is the centerpiece of the album. Way before you hear it, Macklemore’s crippling guilt over rapping while white cripples the album.

That song is easily one of the worst abominations commited to audio. You need to make songs about raping women and killing ‘damn niggers’ to make something worse. Actually, rappers have done songs about raping women and got acclaim for it.

Where to start with such a trainwreck? It ends with a woman singing about Hip-Hop like it’s some sort of ideal. Maybe she should look to Ice Cube or Eazy-E or Phife Dawg, highly acclaimed rappers who made sure to let us know how terrible women are. Women praising Hip-Hip is one of the most hilarious things ever. I can enjoy plenty of misogynistic music, but it doesn’t make it right.

In fact, “White Privilege II” proves something more terrible than white people rapping. Okay, so some dudes have a wacky entitlement complex and think their phenotypes mean they ‘own a culture’. Still, why are the only living artists Macklemore attacks are women? Why is Miley Cyrus twerking worse than those hundreds of videos and songs about ‘hoes’ and ‘gold diggers’, where women are just decorations in a video? Don’t criticize people for not wanting to listen to objecitifcation of women. It doesn’t matter how oppressed you are. Misogyny cannot be justified.

But Macklemore is concerned with not looking racist. Since we’re dealing with appearances, we can sacrifice other groups for our image. That’s why we bend over backwards to make sure people won’t criticize Islam. So Macklemore is angry over white people rapping and exploitating the precious culture that gave us songs like “A Bitch Iz a Bitch”. I’m not saying that racism doesn’t exist, or shouldn’t be talked about. Just don’t be a total moron about it (It’s no “The Blacker the Berry”, a song that gives the oppressed a voice, makes us understand what it feels like). Delivering coherent ideas in music is hard, but when you’re that pretentious is impossible. Hip-Hop is not holy. No one is entitled to Hip-Hop. Don’t tell me how Hip-Hop was for the ‘oppressed’ when misogyny and homophobia are all over the place.

Oh, and Macklemore had fantastic black singers on “Can’t Hold Us” and “Thrift Shop”. So no, Macklemore, your white skin didn’t help you. These black singers did.

Enough about that song, though. For a while, the album hints it might be good. “Light Tunnels” is actually very good. Apologizing to Kendrick Lamar was retarded, but it’s an ambitious song that could only come out of a Kanye-esque narcisstic mind. Then again, whining about fame is narcissitic unless you got psychological insight. The song stretches for 6 minutes, changing the beat constantly but still keeping a hook. It’s an epic, attention-grabbing opener. Macklemore still sounds inconfident in it, but at least it sees him looking forward and trying ridiculous but interesting ideas.

“Downtown” may be an obvious sequel to “Thrift Shop” but it’s a fun one. The aggressive shout-rap is a nice throwback. In truth, the only way it’s a sequel to that song is in concept. It’s a silly rap song driven by a hook that still pushes the music forward. The duo aren’t without talent, they’re just crippled by white guilt and over-seriousness.

The album drops in quality more and more as it goes on. It never becomes offensive until “White Privilege II” and sometimes it rises. Mostly though, it’s so subdued. Nothing about is particularly different from The Heist in musical terms. The songs switch from serious to fun, to a mix of the two. The musical backdrop is experimental and accessible at the same time (“St. Ides” has a beautiful beat). Both hooks and lyrics are important, but this Macklemore always sounds self-aware this time around.

Even when Macklemore was serious and cheesy, he sounded honest. He might’ve sounded ignorant, but he sounded like he genuinaly cared. “Neon Cathedral” worked. “Growing Up” and “Kevin” don’t. It’s as if Macklemore knows this is what’s expected of him. The fun tracks are where this is most apparent. “Brad Pitt’s Cousin” and “Dance Off” lack any sense of joy, or any hook. Macklemore sounds particularly depressed on the former, referencing Deez Nuts (meme, not the band) in some silly effort to inject silliness. Now, if Macklemore deliberately wrote a song about trying to lift his depression in a party, it’d be brilliant. His voice is light-hearted and sounds odd in serious songs, so it’ll be ideal for a song like this one. Instead, Macklemore sounds like he doesn’t really want to make music.

The line “I don’t like who I am in this environment” in the opener is telling. Both parties rarely sound like they want to make this music. Ryan Lewis has cool ideas and a diverse palette, but the beats aren’t attention-grabbing like before. He never takes the ideas to their extreme conclusions. “Need to Know” barely has a beat, as if minimalism is a virtue in and of itself. “Dance Off” is utterly pathetic. It’s a banger with no drums and no basslines. You can only tell it’s a dance song because someone screams about getting down on the floor.

If Macklemore truly thinks white females are ruining Hip-Hop, then he’s a hypocrite. If he just thinks white people are exploiting the culture (No mention of Apathy or El-P or Eminem or Mike Shinoda though), then don’t rap. Don’t rap especially if you don’t feel like it. Even when you leave out the abomination that is “White Privilege II”, it’s a tired album by two people who just don’t want to make that music.

2 popped tags out of 5

Ed Sheeran – X

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There is a brilliant message buried in X. It shouldn’t be too hard to unearth. All you have to do is listen to “Tenerife Sea” after remembering Sheeran brags about how girls ask him to fuck in “Don’t”. There are women who are certain all British men are hot guys in suits, that they’re very romantic, nice and will never break your heart. Ed Sheeran is that hot guy, only he’s aware that the image of a romantic man can be another way to have sex with as much women as possible.

Or maybe there is no message. Maybe Ed Sheeran believes his own bullshit.

Kid Rock also believes his own bullshit, but it took him some time to start. That’s also about the time he lost it. Before that, he tried really hard to convince himself he’s a brilliant musician. He did that by drawing from various American music styles – the loud guitars, the aggressive rapping, the country twang and figuring out why these tropes work. Kid Rock never sounded genuine on “Picture” but it didn’t sound like he tried. His inspiration for that ballad was not heartbreak but other ballads, but he listened to enough to make it work.

Ed Sheeran is like the British version of Kid Rock, with acoustic guitars instead of distortion and a Unthreatening Nice Guy image instead of redneck-ness. There must be a way to connect bragging tracks with acoustic ballads about love. The underrated Everlast made a career of this and Jason Mraz also had a brief time in the limelight.

Everlast and Mraz had a more focused image, though. Everlast’s ballads weren’t meant to sound like a Nice Guy. They were meant to sound like the chink in the macho man’s armor. Jason Mraz was always an average dude. Ed Sheeran, in one has a lot of sex and in the other is a hopeless romantic.

This isn’t the result of expressing a wide range of emotions. Sheeran sounds comfortable in “Sing” and “Don’t”. After all, he’s a famous singer so he must have first-hang accounts of girls asking him upstairs. The problem is that he brings this sexual confidence to his ballads.

Love songs that come from a place of sexual confidence sound either insincere, or pointless. If you’re so confident in your ability at wooing, why are aiming for catharsis? The best love songs are those where the singer sounds like he has to get it off his chest. On Zombies’ “This Will Be Our Year”, the singer sounds like he’s exploding from happiness. On Cure’s “Lovesong”, Smith sounds like he will fall apart if the woman in question won’t marry him.

Sheeran doesn’t sound happy, sad, confused or any emotion that can lift a love song. He sounds like he’s trying to pick up girls. The songs sound no different than any song where a rapper waves his dollar bills and offers expensive drinks for sex. The difference between Sheeran and TI is that Sheeran sounds like he’s trying to have one night stands with girls who are dying for romance. TI knows his girls just want a sugar daddy.

This isn’t an image that exists outside of the record. Every artist creates an image inside the record that helps connect the songs and bring personality. Some play the same character on every album – Dave Wyndorf is a sexy nerd pretty much all the time. Some change – Marilyn Manson went from being Antichrist Superstar to an old man. If “One” and “I’m a Mess” were sincere enough, they could stand sitting next to “Sing”. “Picture” could stand next to a song about how we never meet a motherfucker quite like Kid Rock because Kid tried really, really hard to sound vulnerable.

It may be the set up of just guitar and vocals, which meant to sound intimate but isn’t. It can’t even count as a rip-off of Nick Drake, because any Nick Drake rip-off would sound a little more sincere. On “Photograph”, he rips off the lyrics of Incubus “Love Hurts” and doesn’t even bother to add anything. On “Thinking Out Loud”, he asks the woman if she will remember the taste of his love. Facebook news feeds moved on, but Sheeran is still stuck somewhere in time. I can’t even remember a time these lines meant something.

He’s a little better in the other tracks. There are good hooks in “Sing”, “Don’t” and “Runaway”. They would’ve worked much better in different hands. The toughness in “Don’t” would’ve added a lot to Jason Mraz. Everlast would’ve dealt with the alcoholism in “Runaway” much better.

Afire Love” is the track that best sums up the record, the good and the bad. Sheeran is at once convincing, but reveals how weak a songwriter he is. The subject of Alzheimer’s is pretty touching, and the melody is beautiful. The lyrics are so anticlimatic, though. The first verse is just a dull chronicle of how a person started losing his memory and that it made people feel bad, with a mentions of the devil and heaven which add nothing to the tone. Imagine how beautiful the song could be if Patterson Hood or Frank Turner – lyricists whose whole point is intimacy – handled them. Look at the song title. Such a serious subject deserves a song that’s not titled like another cheap love song.

Maroon 5 are another apt comparison, but they handled their fame better. They were into love songs for the sake of singing love songs, so even with their new sexual confidence their love songs weren’t obnoxious. Ed Sheeran never, for one moment, sound sincere. He’s full of confidence and arrogance but sings of weakness. Imagine if Snoop Dogg sang Nine Inch Nails’ “Hurt”. It’s not a clever contrast. Sheeran doesn’t play with these personalities, so they end up working against each other.At best, it’s decent pop but until he does something with his image it’ll be a glass ceiling. Even the best tracks sound weaker because they’re performed by him.

2 cups of ginger ales out of 5

Of Monsters and Men – Beneath the Skin

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The view from the tallest mountain on Skyrim must be extraordinary. It must also wear itself out if you stare at it for an hour. This isn’t an attempt to find a cool way to say “this album is good but monotonous”. This album is the pop music equvilant of standing on the top of a snow-covered mountain, looking down while thinking profound thoughts and feeling profound emotions.

That’s not a bad idea. It’s a good one that becomes fantastic on lead single “Crystals”. It finds a bridge between stadium pop and the sort of epic nature the band loves so much. It’s the sound of a band discovering where else their sound can take them, and writing better melodies to accompany it. The chorus is so beautiful that the dullness that follows it is jarring.

It’s never bad, but the songs tend to blur together. At first you’re checking the tracklist, surprised the song changed because the tone and atmosphere didn’t. The second time you check tracklist, you’re surprised that by “Empire” no idea appeared. “Wolves Without Teeth” only sticks out because it has a better melody than all the rest, but the band’s talent for melodies is a given.

Music isn’t as simple as just writing good tunes. If you don’t surround them with interesting enough sounds, the melodies are wasted. It’s not as if the sound the band came up with takes advantage of repetition. Some bands use a uniform sound to trap you in it, or to beat the listener into submission. Even then it’s a hard thing to do right. Slipknot couldn’t do it with Iowa. What makes Of Monsters and Men think they can do it with their nature pop thing?

There’s an attempt here to go darker and more ‘artistic’, but it’s a cover. It’s a useless attempt by the band, anyway. They sounded ‘artistic’ enough compared to their peers. Mumford & Sons just sounded mushy and afraid to be more than background music (except that annoying banjo in “Little Lion Man”). Of Monsters and Men nailed what sitting outside under the shade of a tree sounds like. They had more purpose and more good songs than American Authos, Fitz & the Tantrums and Imagine Dragons.

The addition of glacial and epic sounds are great, but that’s the whole album. There is nothing as fun as “Mountain Sound” or easy like “Little Talks”. It’s all big, profound, looking at glacial and lost at thought. It’s never horrible. It will work as a decent soundtrack to Skyrim, but it will quickly fade into decent background music. Maybe it’s something the band needed to get out of their system, to prove they can get more serious and ‘deep’. There are still a few killer melodies here. Let’s hope it’s an experiment, and not a sign of things to come.

2.5 glaciers out of 5

Beatport Chart Review #1

This EDM thing is pretty big. There a lot of festivals where people gather together to listen to music and perhaps take drugs. Since major artists rarely release full-lengths – Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Martin Garrix and Nicky Romery from DJ Mag’s Top 100 don’t even have an album in the works. So, I’ll just go over the whole Beatport chart in order to determine whether everything is bad or most of it is bad.

Chart according to 21/12/2014

1. R3hab & KSHMAR – Karate
Is this Melbourne Bounce? The melody in the drop is nice, but the sound is too boring. I heard this horn thing too much. At least Big Room utilized different sounds. I also first thought the drop repeated itself three times. It’s too monotonous for its own good. Decent fodder for a DJ set, but nothing much.
2/5

2. Dusky – Yoohoo
Deep House at #2. That’s nice. Are they playing this stuff for the same crowds who want to see Avicii? Anyway, the drums are great. Four minutes into this, and all I can think about are the drums. Perhaps it has something to do with the other elements lacking. There’s a vocal simple that doesn’t do anything, aside from telling me that I call it love. The bassline just goes along with the drums. The piano in the middle adds some warmth which is a nice contrast to the cold drums. When it finally finds cool ambient noises it decides to cut back and end. Perhaps not worth the full six minutes, but it was pretty banging.
3/5

3. Michael Caflan – Treasured Soul
Beatport lists this simply as house. The drums in the beginning bang, and I love the vocal sample. The warm soft sounds in the drop made me cringe, but the piano and the chopped vocals make up for it. It used them to create rhythm, not these warm synths. I think this is what Knife Party tried to make with “DIMH”, but they missed the point.
2.5/5

4. Ed Sheeran – Don’t (Don Diablo)
Fuck a build-up! No, seriously, it starts with the vocal sample and then there’s a drop. I can live with that. The vocals suit the BPM, and the drop uses sounds that would make someone re-make this as a big room track. It’s like as if someone merged Diamond Pistol’s “Wrecker” with Michael Caflan’s track. Pretty good.
3.5/5

5. Maceo Plex & Gabriel Ananda – Solitary Daze
I don’t think this song is finished. It sounds like Dubnobasswithmyheadman-era Underworld, but it goes nowhere during its seven minute voyage. The ambiance is great, but by the time the fifth minute rolls around you’re hearing the exact same thing with almost no variation. It’s a shame, because that part they repeat is great, but few things are so good they can repeat themselves for seven minutes without changing.
2.5/5

6. Royskopp – Sordid Affair (Maceo Plex Remix)
Hello again! This one sounds more like Orbital, and unlike the previous track he gets what makes this style work. It uses melody not to create rhythm, but to create a dreamlike atmosphere. Melody is always more powerful in dance music when it’s pushed in the back, and changes as the drop goes on. The buildup/drop structure doesn’t really suit this style. It should be one continues thing, but I can forgive that. The most fully realized track here yet.
3.5/5

7. Natema – Everybody Does
Everything you need in a dance track here. There’s a great bassline and good vocals, and it keeps bringing new sounds all throughout its length. There’s a guitar that comes and goes, and sounds video games think belongs to radars. This one sounds like the work of a band who should have an album out.
4/5

8. Tom Swoon & Stadium feat. Rico & Miella – Ghost
There are big, dramatic drums in the beginning. I think the drop is going be either heavy or life-affirming. The vocals are leftover Afrojack and try to make me think this is actually very, very serious. How do people react to this at festivals? Do they all start reflecting about their past one night stands? The female singer has a much better melody and a much better voice. The drop was probably – here it comes – ghost-produced by Avicii. I hope DKS will use the female vocals and make a better remix.
1.5/5

9. Axwell ^ Ingrosso – Something New
I’m glad they put the “^” in their name, but it doesn’t excuse this crap. Here come more utterly serious and sincere singing and lyrics from a bad self-help book. It doesn’t express happiness. It’s faux-positive, saying a lot of pretty, inoffensive things. It’s boring, and there’s nothing here that creates rhythm. The drop is more of that Avicii crap. You can’t dance to this. This is why people think White People Can’t Dance.
1/5

10. MEM – Ecco (Ummet Ozcan Edit)
Does MEM stand for “Middle East Massacre”? Anyway, we’re back to starting with some great drums, and I wouldn’t mind a few more seconds of that build-up. The synth stabs at the chorus remind me a bit of Melbourne Bounce, but the drums sound more like Deep House. This weird fusion works. An acoustic guitar appears after the first drop, which makes zero sense in the context of the song even though the melody is pretty. The melody also doesn’t sound that bad when the synth plays it. The second drop repeats the first, but I can live with that.
3/5