Beatport Chart Review #1

This EDM thing is pretty big. There a lot of festivals where people gather together to listen to music and perhaps take drugs. Since major artists rarely release full-lengths – Dimitri Vegas & Like Mike, Martin Garrix and Nicky Romery from DJ Mag’s Top 100 don’t even have an album in the works. So, I’ll just go over the whole Beatport chart in order to determine whether everything is bad or most of it is bad.

Chart according to 21/12/2014

1. R3hab & KSHMAR – Karate
Is this Melbourne Bounce? The melody in the drop is nice, but the sound is too boring. I heard this horn thing too much. At least Big Room utilized different sounds. I also first thought the drop repeated itself three times. It’s too monotonous for its own good. Decent fodder for a DJ set, but nothing much.
2/5

2. Dusky – Yoohoo
Deep House at #2. That’s nice. Are they playing this stuff for the same crowds who want to see Avicii? Anyway, the drums are great. Four minutes into this, and all I can think about are the drums. Perhaps it has something to do with the other elements lacking. There’s a vocal simple that doesn’t do anything, aside from telling me that I call it love. The bassline just goes along with the drums. The piano in the middle adds some warmth which is a nice contrast to the cold drums. When it finally finds cool ambient noises it decides to cut back and end. Perhaps not worth the full six minutes, but it was pretty banging.
3/5

3. Michael Caflan – Treasured Soul
Beatport lists this simply as house. The drums in the beginning bang, and I love the vocal sample. The warm soft sounds in the drop made me cringe, but the piano and the chopped vocals make up for it. It used them to create rhythm, not these warm synths. I think this is what Knife Party tried to make with “DIMH”, but they missed the point.
2.5/5

4. Ed Sheeran – Don’t (Don Diablo)
Fuck a build-up! No, seriously, it starts with the vocal sample and then there’s a drop. I can live with that. The vocals suit the BPM, and the drop uses sounds that would make someone re-make this as a big room track. It’s like as if someone merged Diamond Pistol’s “Wrecker” with Michael Caflan’s track. Pretty good.
3.5/5

5. Maceo Plex & Gabriel Ananda – Solitary Daze
I don’t think this song is finished. It sounds like Dubnobasswithmyheadman-era Underworld, but it goes nowhere during its seven minute voyage. The ambiance is great, but by the time the fifth minute rolls around you’re hearing the exact same thing with almost no variation. It’s a shame, because that part they repeat is great, but few things are so good they can repeat themselves for seven minutes without changing.
2.5/5

6. Royskopp – Sordid Affair (Maceo Plex Remix)
Hello again! This one sounds more like Orbital, and unlike the previous track he gets what makes this style work. It uses melody not to create rhythm, but to create a dreamlike atmosphere. Melody is always more powerful in dance music when it’s pushed in the back, and changes as the drop goes on. The buildup/drop structure doesn’t really suit this style. It should be one continues thing, but I can forgive that. The most fully realized track here yet.
3.5/5

7. Natema – Everybody Does
Everything you need in a dance track here. There’s a great bassline and good vocals, and it keeps bringing new sounds all throughout its length. There’s a guitar that comes and goes, and sounds video games think belongs to radars. This one sounds like the work of a band who should have an album out.
4/5

8. Tom Swoon & Stadium feat. Rico & Miella – Ghost
There are big, dramatic drums in the beginning. I think the drop is going be either heavy or life-affirming. The vocals are leftover Afrojack and try to make me think this is actually very, very serious. How do people react to this at festivals? Do they all start reflecting about their past one night stands? The female singer has a much better melody and a much better voice. The drop was probably – here it comes – ghost-produced by Avicii. I hope DKS will use the female vocals and make a better remix.
1.5/5

9. Axwell ^ Ingrosso – Something New
I’m glad they put the “^” in their name, but it doesn’t excuse this crap. Here come more utterly serious and sincere singing and lyrics from a bad self-help book. It doesn’t express happiness. It’s faux-positive, saying a lot of pretty, inoffensive things. It’s boring, and there’s nothing here that creates rhythm. The drop is more of that Avicii crap. You can’t dance to this. This is why people think White People Can’t Dance.
1/5

10. MEM – Ecco (Ummet Ozcan Edit)
Does MEM stand for “Middle East Massacre”? Anyway, we’re back to starting with some great drums, and I wouldn’t mind a few more seconds of that build-up. The synth stabs at the chorus remind me a bit of Melbourne Bounce, but the drums sound more like Deep House. This weird fusion works. An acoustic guitar appears after the first drop, which makes zero sense in the context of the song even though the melody is pretty. The melody also doesn’t sound that bad when the synth plays it. The second drop repeats the first, but I can live with that.
3/5

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